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- Techniques To Never Run Out Of Things To Say In A Conversation
- How To Be A Good Listener And Connect With People
Do you often have a problem talking to women, where you’re running out of things to say?
Is it a problem for you to know what to talk about with girls?
Are your dates sometimes awkward without much conversation going on. Or do you have issues with small talk and chit chat?
Well then you’re in luck! Because today I’m going to show you a few great techniques that will make sure you never run out of things to say when you’re talking with women.
Using these techniques, you’ll be able to talk for hours upon hours. About many different topics, both deep and superficial.
What’s more, you’ll understand how to be an active listener. Which is even harder to do than being able to talk endlessly, in my opinion. And what’s great about being a good listener is that women, and people in general, appreciate it greatly. When they see you’re genuinely interested in them and what they have to say.
Techniques To Never Run Out Of Things To Say In A Conversation
First of all, there are pretty much infinite paths any conversation can take. So, it’s possible to essentially talk without ever running out of things to say.
Conversations can become pretty random. And as long as you can think of something, you can discuss it with someone else. (Doesn’t mean they’ll be necessarily interested in hearing it, but that’s another issue.)
Talk as much as you want with Conversational Threading
The main technique is called Conversation Threading. And you must be a good active listener to be able to use it. (I’ll show you how to do that later)
Basically, you listen to what the other person says and use their own key words of interest (or phrases) to create new comments, questions, topics and conversation threads.
Here’s a quick example to demonstrate it right away how to never run out of things to say:
Let’s say you’re talking to a girl at a coffee shop and ask her what she’s doing later today,
She replies she’s going out with a couple of friends to a bar. But first she has to walk her dog and do a little grocery shopping.
Being the good active listener that you are, you’ve already noticed a couple of important words that can easily start new threads: Friends, bar, dog, groceries, shopping.
You can easily start a whole new discussion on any of these words.
You can now talk about dogs, pets, grocieries and food, shopping in general. These are endless subjects in an of themselves!
You can also ask her about her friends, for example. By saying something like “Oh, that’s nice, are they like your besties and do you go out with them often?
She may say something like “Oh yeah, I’ll be out with Tim and Ruth. I’ve known Tim since forever and Ruth is just a collegue from work.“
Now you’ve got even MORE things to talk about: Tim, Ruth, how she’s known Tim since forever, her work.
So you say something like “Oh, that’s cool. So is Ruth fun to hang out with at work? Oh, and what do you do for work?”
And she’ll say something like “Yeah, she’s really funny and we often have some great laughs together. We both work at the hospital. I’m a pediatrician.”
Then you suddenly have EVEN MORE things to talk about: Funny Ruth, Comedy in general, the hospital, being a pediatrician, work with kids, etc.
I think you get the idea.
From this short conversation, we already see at least 14 different topics of conversation you can pursue!
And once you start talking about ANY of these subjects, you’re bound to hear lots and lots more words that can start EVEN MORE conversations.
Like I said, the possibilities are endless. You just have to listen to what she’s saying and take a mental note of the words or phrases that can open new topics.
However, I STRONGLY suggest you talk about the things that are genuinely interesting to you. Because that way, the conversation will be much more engaging. And she will feel your genuine interest and enthusiasm. So she’ll respect and like you more.
For example, if she says something about going shopping for sports equipment, shoes, pet food and electronics. Don’t just start talking about shoes IF YOU DON’T LIKE talking about shoes. Pic any of the other topics instead.
DO NOT FEIGN INTEREST IN THINGS THAT ARE UNINTERESTING TO YOU.
Now let me show you how to take things even further.
Insert your own experiences and ideas into new threads
This technique builds on the first one and turbocharges it, so running out of things to say becomes next to impossible.
As much as Conversation Threading is amazing, it has its limits.
When you listen to the other person, you’ll notice plenty of words you can use to start new threads and topics of conversation. But eventually it will become weird or strange if you keep opening up new threads without contributing anything yourself.
I mean, it will eventually start sounding like you’re at an interview. If you just keep asking her questions about all the key words of interest and phrases you hear her mention. One right after the other.
So, in order to avoid that, you have to contribute to the conversation yourself from time to time.
You have to insert your own experiences, insights, ideas and interests into the conversation. Otherwise it will be really one-sided.
Besides, how is she supposed to find out things about you, if all you do is focus on her?
So let’s take the same example from above and roll with it further:
When you ask what she’s doing later today, she replies the same thing. That she’s going out with a couple of friends to a bar. But first she has to walk her dog and do a little grocery shopping.
The words to focus on were friends, bar, dog, groceries, shopping, right?
So let’s say you decide to go with dog this time.
You say something like “Oh, that’s nice, I love pets! What kind of dog do you have?”
Besides the fact that you already share something about yourself here, namely that you love pets, you listen carefully.
She says something like “I have a 2 year old yorkie.”
Now, there’s a few things you can do here. You could go on asking her about the yorkie to continue the conversation. And you should, if you’re interested in learning more.
Or, you can insert things about yourself here. Now or after you talk about her dog.
For example, you can say that you also have a pet or a dog. And then you TALK ABOUT THAT.
Say what kind of dog you have and how you treat it. Talk about it’s personality, where you go to walk with it and whatever else dog owners talk about, etc.
If you have another pet, talk about that. Tell her about all the unique or interesting things about your pet. And do so with ENTHUSIASM!
If you don’t have any pets at all, talk about that and tell her why you don’t have pets. Maybe your housing doesn’t allow it, maybe you think it’s too much work to keep one, etc.
Don’t know what to talk about? This reminds me of…
The other way to expand on the conversation so you never run out of things to say, is with the magic phrase “Oh, this reminds me of…”
This magic phrase is amazing. Especially if you don’t know what to talk about and are stuck for content.
However old you are, you’ve lived life and experienced a LOT of things by now. You’ve surely heard of various interesting, funny, exciting, terrifying, absurd, ridiculous and so on stories about pets, dogs, or whatever you choose to talk about with her.
Stories that either happened to you or happened to your friends. Or even stories you’ve heard about elsewhere. As long as they’re funny or entertaining.
SHARE ALL THE INTERESTING, FUNNY, EXCITING, RIDICULOUS, ABSURD, TERRIFYING, STUPID, SILLY STORIES WITH HER ON THE TOPIC YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT!
Basically, you talk about her dog and talk a bit about yours if you have one. And then say, for example “Oh, oh! This reminds me of the time when we went to the lake with our friends and our dogs almost drowned! Yeah! They’re hunting dogs, and I guess it was their instincts, but they saw a white rabbit and both ran right after it. It ran across the bridge and jumped off onto some rocks and the dogs went right after it. But the rocks were too slippery and they fell right into the water and collided with each other! Me and my friends went to save them and blah blah blah, whatever the story was, it’s just an example.
Basically, when something you’re talking about reminds you of any story from your life you think is either interesting, funny, exciting, ridiculous, absurd, horrifying, terrifying, stupid, silly, entertaining, or whatever else that stirs emotions, YOU TELL IT!
And the best way to segue into a story in any converstaion is to say “This reminds me of…” and go from there.
Now that you know how to never run out of things to say, let’s learn how to become a great listener.
How To Be A Good Listener And Connect With People
Now I’ll tell you how to show genuine interest when you’re listening to someone.
The most important thing you need to do to be a good listener is to be present and in the moment.
What this means is very simple:
Listen to understand someone and their point of view, instead of listening to figure out what to reply or say next!
I can’t overemphasize this point enough!
A lot of people listen to others just so they can formulate what they need or want to say next. And often they do it RIGHT AS THE OTHER PERSON IS TALKING.
This often results in not actually hearing the full content of what the other person is saying. So they end up missing some words and hearing and understanding even less. Because they’re effectively multi-tasking and focusing their brainpower on formulating what to say next. Instead of understanding the content and the meaning of what’s being said to them.
Don’t be like these people. Because others will often sense this and it’s a huuuge turn-off.
It shows you’re not very interested in what they have to say. And just want to “win” the conversation and present your point of view instead.
Basically, by doing this, you’re demonstrating that you’re valuing what you have to say much more than what they have to say. Which is disrespectful.
To avoid this, don’t think of what you’re going to say in advance.
Instead, let yourself fully immerse into the present moment and listen to their every word carefully. Focus and hear the content of their words completely.
Watch their body language, facial expressions, mannerisms. Get a feel for their tonality, inflection, how they say the words.
Maintain eye contact and let them know you’re listening actively by nodding or acknowledging them when they make some point. By saying things like “Right” and “I see” and “Uh-huh,” etc.
Why you should be in the present moment and listen to people actively
People really like it when someone genuinely listens to them. Because they experience it very rarely in their day to day lives.
You see, the majority of people are self-absorbed. They live their lives in their heads, constantly thinking of things. Because everyone has a lot going on and everyone has their own problems to deal with in life.
So if you actually make an effort to genuinely listen to people and give them your full attention, people will notice this.
If you’re being there in the present moment with someone, it shows you respect them. It shows you value their insights and opinions. And it shows you actually CARE!
In turn, they will respect you and like you more. In fact, some people will REALLY like you when you active listen to them. And you’ll be able to connect much easier with women when you do this.
And if you connect with women on a deeper level by doing this, they will trust you more and feel more comfortable with you.
What’s more, if you don’t try to think of what you’re going to say next and make an effort to stay in the present moment, it’s almost like meditation. You focus entirely on the other person and be there with them and for them. You’ll often even enter the flow state and your conversation may take a very interesting turn for the better.
It’s almost like a superpower when you do this. People will think you’re amazing and they will like being around you. Because it’s so rare and refreshing.
Advanced active listening technique
There’s also a technique to take active listening to the next level.
In fact, this is an advanced debating technique that people use around the world to win debates and to get their point across.
Essentially, you listen to the other person and their point. And then you repeat what they say to you, in your own words.
When you do this, it builds massive rapport, instantly. It shows the other person you get what they’re saying completely and that you care about what they say.
If you’re able to tell the other person, in your own words, the essence of their point or argument. They will respect you for it massively.
However, don’t overdo it and don’t start repeating whatever they say back to them.
Use this technique sparingly, when someone tells you something important.
This technique will make the other person like you a lot. People will want to be around you and spend time with you when you take the time to listen to them like this.
And it’s very easy to initiate. You simply listen to the other person and then say something like “So you’re saying that … <whatever they were saying but in your own words> …, right?” Or “So let me see if I got this right, you’re saying that <whatever they said in your own words, correct?
And then watch their eyes light up. It’s really amazing.
Let me tell you, once you learn to listen to people actively and be a great listener, your relationships will change significantly. And for the better.
People love it and people really enjoy being around good listeners.
Also, with just the techniques above, you’ll now know exactly how to never run out of things to say when you’re talking to women.
I’ve given you tools to have endless conversations. But remember that you should only talk about the things that genuinely interest you. Otherwise you’ll seem like a tryhard or someone with an ulterior motive. Which is weird and unattractive.
And now that you know all this, you’ll be able to have better relationships, better dates, and many more opportunities to talk to and seduce women.
And once you’re able to get a lot of dates set up, you should really learn what to do on the first date so the girl falls hard for you and wants to be your girlfriend or lover. To do that, go to https://saulisdating.com and get the book!